Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Are you a hater? Go directly to jail. Do not collect your Giro.

Report a burglary, theft or breach of the peace and the police couldn't give a damn. Tell them the burglar, thief or yob called you 'a bad word' and hordes of police, social workers, transphobia awareness counsellors and a bunch of other loonies will be round to offer their support.

When I was at primary school, the teacher would warn the naughty boy who called you a naughty word. When I was at secondary school, the teacher would still warn them, but would probably also tell you to grow up and stop cliping. [For English readers, 'to clipe' means 'to tell tales'.] Nowadays, grown adults are encouraged to run to the nearest police-person or Labour appointed outreach worker. That is if you can spot the difference these days between a policeman and a Labour-appointed social worker. On second thoughts, I am being silly here. The social worker is more likely to prosecute someone. Not a real criminal, obviously.

The ultimate (I think, although no doubt it will be surpassed before the end of the week) is this story, in which a Conservative councillor was questioned about whether he was 'homophobic' or had said something hateful. So bloody what if he was or had????

Anyway, someone had expressed confusion about whether to press button A or button B to say they were 'male' or 'female' in a survey. Presumably, this was a grown adult and they had completed surveys or questionnaires before, without running to the police about it. However, this was their chance to have 15 minutes of fame and to embarrass a Tory councillor. The councillor in question, Jonathan Yardley, answered light-heartedly that they 'could press both buttons'. Apparently, there were so few crimes in Wolverhampton that day, that this counted as a potential 'hate crime' and police wasted two hours of their time and your money questioning him about it.

What was Mr Yardley supposed to say? I love this quote, "Unbeknown to him there was a man dressed as a woman in the audience whose male partner had raised the question."
That makes it a nice, everyday situation, doesn't it? If it was 'a man dressed as a woman', then they were a man. Simple, isn't it?

Presumably, the man/woman/thing has been in a situation of having to use a public toilet. As we all have, yes? Presumably, in that situation, he/she/it has not run to the police to complain that the toilets are only marked 'male' and 'female'. They have used whichever toilet they have felt most comfortable with. And the world has not stopped rotating on its axis as a result of this dilemma.

In the two hours that the police questioned Mr Yardley, 685 people on an average day will have died worldwide due to a lack of clean water or adequate sanitation. Which issue is more worthy of our attention? I think it's a no-brainer: unfortunately, much of public policy these days is created by people with no brains.

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